Crickets Chirping

Shawn’s reviews of Midlake/Do Say Make Think and The Organ have been published in Space City Rock- and here’s what I think of them.

The Good: He dives right into the music and the band specifically, which for some reason is really hard for music reviewers to do. Usually they start off a review with something completely unrelated (they’re using the review space as a soapbox for some bullshit pet issue that I don’t care about- tell me about the damn album already) and quickly diverge further. Then somewhere in the last two sentences of a 400-word review, they use some logical acrobatics or lame attempt at metaphor to link said pet issue to the music they were supposed to tell me about. I walk away hearing nothing but the sour melody of some hack’s exposed neuroses. Anyways, Shawn talks about the way the band sounds right from the start. “An aural representation of James Joyce on Acid.” ? That’s exactly what Do Say Make Think remind me of. Then again, I’ve already heard them. Midlake on the other hand I have not heard, but will get a copy and verify what Shawn’s review suggests to me: they suck. Not because Shawn hated them, but because he gave me a mental image of what they sound like and it’s not my thing. Mainly because Coldplay is overplayed, bland crap that unearths memories of utter tripe like bruce hornsby and the range to me, and if this band sounds like that I’ll pass.

The Bad: He spends too many words on the opening band, to the detriment of the main attraction. If the opener is the better band, or the more interesting one, then sure- dedicate more words to it. From the review he gave though, it really seems like he got a lot more out of the Do Say Make Think performance than the Midlake performance. Maybe that’s a trick he’s playing- leave you hungry for more meaty information about the headlining band by overstimulating your palette with appetizers about the opener.

The Ugly:

The Organ is another band from the Canadian region of North America.

To the uninitated, this is a trademark kind of statement by Mr. Rameshwar. It is intentional and is to be read aloud using a certain tone of voice that makes it even funnier. Knowing him in person brings a whole new dimension to his writing, and sometimes I worry that it goes under-appreciated by people who would otherwise really get it if they knew him.

If you came to the birthday party last night, thanks a million (except for one of you- I’ll get to that in a sec). I’d especially like to thank my parents and grandmother because their presence was not as awkward as I had imagined. Grandma can still party till midnight, which I hope I can still do when I’m her age.

I got a photo of me and her, with me holding a photo of her holding me as a baby. I like to get all recursive like that.

At one point, Craig declared that absynth tastes like he’d just licked the least clean part of a twenty-dollar hooker. Not in so many words (he is quite colorful after a few drinks), and it was said loud and clear right in front of Grandma and the parents. They didn’t flinch, which just made it funnier.

In classic form, I was dancing with Alison in the garage and she says, “okay now dip” After we demonstrated why dipping should not be attempted by a drunk guy who doesn’t know how to dance, somebody picked me up off the ground (Bob?) and I ran away feeling very embarassed. I’m really sorry, Alison. Why do you even talk to me?

Shawn came up from Houston just for the party, which was very nice of him. I owe him a trip now. He also gave me a dvd of home movies we’d made back in high school. I can’t wait to watch “The Last American Virgin 2.” Man, that was genius.

Edward gave us Depends, which would have helped earlier in the evening when somebody decided to leave a present on my back bathroom floor. What did I do to make somebody that mad? Or was it an accident? I couldn’t have been any of the dogs, which I know for reasons I won’t go into here. I considered leaving this part of the story out, because it’s so disgusting and I don’t want to give anyone the impression that this happens a lot, or that I hang out with people who do that. But I decided to tell it anyways, because it’s kind of funny (I mean, is it ever NOT going to be funny?) and there’s gotta be a really bad joke to get out of it.

Ahem.

Not to let a party pooper ruin things, I went on another data-gathering mission. This time, the question was: “Craig, left or right? and Sean, left or right?”

(25 responses, Craig and I did not participate)

Now we know which testicle we each came from.

Hey that might make a good father’s day card.

And a milestone of sorts: for the first time in about two years, there was a party at my house and I didn’t pass out while it was still going on.

Great concept.

In some alternate universe, I made millions during the late 90′s and converted the stock to cash even though it was worth about 50% of the paper value. I still have it all, including a really hot wife who I met at a trade show. She’s a saleswoman for a supply chain management software company. Sometimes she comes home from out-of-town sales calls without her wedding ring on.

I pretend to not let it bother me.

Bassists, in no particular order:

• John Paul Jones
• Matt Freeman
• Joe Lally
• Peter Hook
• James Jamerson
• Paul McCartney

Vocal Duos, in no particular order:

• Kim Deal, Frank Black
• Ian Mackaye, Guy Picciotto
• Kori Gardner, Jason Hammel

Guitarists, in no particular order:

• (none)

Drummers, in no particular order:

• Brendan Canty
• Sebastian Thomson
• Roland TR-808
• John Bonham
• Billy Martin

I just about made a vowel movement myself when I saw this (old news, but it still threw me for a loop): The Evens (of which Ian Mackaye is one half) sing about vowels.