Carpentry
I had a disagreement with a friend K regarding what the word “Carpentry” makes people think of.
My answer:
Fig. 1: Carpentry? Trebuchet.
Her answer:
Fig 2: Carpentry? Jesus.
I felt very strongly that the natural reaction to “carpentry” was the construction of trebuchets. She disagreed with equal ferocity, so I decided to do some research on the subject and settle the matter all scientific and civil-like.
Methodology: An instant messaging poll of random people who happened to be online at the time. Sample size= 14 (including the author and K). My findings:
Question: What does the word “Carpentry” make you think of?
Fig 3: Survey Results
An example transcript from data-gathering phase illustrates the carp-pun phenomenon:
Me: trying to settle a disagreement- what does the word “Carpentry” make you think of?
Co-worker: fish
Co-worker: oh wait
Co-worker: making stuff out of wood
Me: I’ll go with the first answer
Co-worker: Carp-entry
Me: oh fuck, that’s friggin awful
Me: well played
Co-worker: mmm
Co-worker: carp-en-try
Co-worker: now that’s aweful
Me: carp-en-try-catch-finally
Co-worker: carp-en-try-catch-fry
Me: that was reeley bad
This tangential matter aside, I was troubled by two things: 1) the fact that the Jesii (that’s the plural of Jesus) were clearly in the lead, and 2) the tiny sample size.
To augment my first-hand research and hopefully re-inforce support for my hypothesis, I did what any modern student of random shit like this does: Googled it.
| Google search results | |
| Carpentry | 6,060,000 |
| Carpentry and Jesus | 272,000 |
| Carpentry and Trebuchet | 526 |
Table 1: Google Being Evil, According to Me
These data points imply that 4.49% of pages that mention carpentry also mention Jesus. This is higher than the 0.01% of carpentry pages that mention trebuchet. The word “carpentry” has a stronger statistical association with “jesus” than it does with “trebuchet”.
I am in the minority according to my own first-hand and secondary research. I conceed to K.
Conclusion: The word “Carpentry” does indeed make people think of Jesus more often that it makes them think of Trebuchets.
When I first heard of this ridiculous wager, I thought Kavita was kidding.
EXHIBIT A
KAVITA: I need you to clear up a disagreement
KAVITA: when you hear the word “Carpentry” what’s the first thing that come to mind?
JIM: jesus
JIM: he was the son of a carpenter
KAVITA: :) thank you!
JIM: why is that?
JIM: is that the answer you were looking for?
KAVITA: yes
JIM: really?
JIM: why?
KAVITA: my coworker didnt believe that jesus was the first thing ppl thing of
KAVITA: He says trebuchet
JIM: i’m sorry
JIM: he thinks when you hear the word “carpenter” you automatically think of a medieval catapult?
JIM: shit. what’s he smoking? too much history channel in that guy’s diet
Jim Bishop
18 Jan 06 at 2:40 pm
i guess my response would inevitably skew your data as well since i try at all cost to avoid answering “jesus” to questions in general. for example, I too (though i hate to admit it) thought of Jesus first but denied all association i unconciously have with carpentry and jesus for conciously premeditated answers like sawdust and ants. now knowing what you were attempting to measure maybe i should have thought of trebucheting jesus out of my thoughts. i could only honestly reply jesus to a question that is inherently degrading of him. so in the future if you want a sample that would allow you to generalize and your topic has something to do with jesus related stuff make sure you’ve got some zealots to counteract my sensibilities. In other words im a negative jesus outlyer.
Liger
18 Jan 06 at 2:45 pm
Jim: The History Channel is an important part of my infodiet. For the record, I was smoking Dinosaur Dope.
banksean
18 Jan 06 at 2:46 pm
Liger: Are you TRYING to invalidate my findings? If I lose my research grant because of this, all I can say is that theres a trebuchet coming your way.
banksean
18 Jan 06 at 2:50 pm
EXHIBIT B
Carpentry + Trebuchet + Things to Smoke
161 for carpentry trebuchet marijuana
326 for carpentry trebuchet crack
107 for carpentry trebuchet “crystal meth”
4 for carpentry trebuchet “banana peels”
Jim Bishop
18 Jan 06 at 2:52 pm
actually, i was trying to help your finding be more accurate. Its asking way to much of me to be fair and level headed when religon is involved. This way next time sumthing pops up you can “account” for me statistically. And if i could invalidate your findings and make trebuchets more relavent i would but short of a bizzaro salem witch trial or Bizzaro Crusade i can’t help you there..sorry.
Liger
18 Jan 06 at 2:56 pm
no one said “fonts”??
Jim Bishop
18 Jan 06 at 2:58 pm
Font was my #2, actually.
Carpentry was developed by ancient web designers to shave seriffs off all the letters. I saw a show about that on the History Channel once.
banksean
18 Jan 06 at 3:06 pm
I think the problem here is with the word trebuchet. How many people ever think “trebuchet” in relation to anything? Catapult I might give you, but the more specific, proper word is going to be a no-go no matter what google search you attempt. I gotta wonder what kind of people you work with that no one thought “bookshelves” or “harrison ford”. Too simplistic these answers?
Lisa
20 Jan 06 at 12:48 am
Only fans of Harrison Ford would think of him in reaction to the word Carpentry.
Bookshelves are great and all, but why not birdhouses or wood shop, or that shop teacher in high school who had the beat up pick up truck that he spray painted black and spray painted the rims hot pink? That dude was CRAZY. How could they let him near students? And dangerous machinery? I think bobby brown used to sell him weed.
banksean
20 Jan 06 at 9:19 am
[…] Okay, seriously Sean… Jesus vs. Trebuchet is cool… but did you have to tag it with trebuchet? […]
Virtual Thought » Blog Archive » Trebuchet?
20 Jan 06 at 11:38 pm
Can I be the first schism in your school of Jesus/Trebuchetism? I’m gonna go with mangonel.
If someone else says “ballistae” we could totally scoop.
David
20 Jan 06 at 11:40 pm
Your knowledge of medieval seige weapons is as impressive as it is disturbing.
banksean
21 Jan 06 at 12:06 pm
My Boss is a Lutheran Metal Worker.
Benji
21 Jan 06 at 6:27 pm
[…] Forces of evil compel me to bid, obviously in response to the Jesus-carpentry relationship. […]
The Sound of Crickets Chirping » Blog Archive » ebay trebuchet, touché
25 Jan 06 at 11:28 am
For the record, I just found this website while trying to settle another trebuchet dispute. The information was utterly useless to the debate at hand, but it absolutely made my week. Thanks to all!
Brittany
10 Feb 07 at 3:12 am