Crickets Chirping

SXSW initiates assembly code enforcement teams

(thanks, Edward)

I don’t know how to describe this game, but it’s very meta. It’s web-based, and it’s based on the web. You try to take over message boards. It’s pretty funny.

Behold ForumWarz:

Magical dragon-faeries? Flaxen-hair’d elflords? Dank scary dungeons, reminiscent of Grandpa’s basement? Kids’ stuff. In Forumwarz, you can pwn trolls in ridiculous web forums…buy hacked warez from shady Russian websites…or upgrade your skills with breast implants, malt liquor and antidepressants.

Assume the role of one of three Internet personas: Camwhore, Troll or Emo Kid, each with their own special attacks, abilities and personalities.

Play in story mode and pwn your way through a dense world of mystery, intrigue and Internet idiocy. Or test your skillz against others in various player-versus-player challenges.

I was syncing my iPhone and finally got around to some old photos from when JohnJohn and I visited the Conservatory of Flowers.

Lookie what I found:

It’s a Lodoicoa maldivica, or double coconut. Also called Coco de mer, it is said to be a powerful aphrodisiac. If only mother nature labeled everything so clearly.

I asked a trusted source for financial advice about Berkshire Hathaway B (BRK.B).

He had this to say:

Buffet’s right hand man, who will likely survive him, is something of a wing-nut and I’ve got my doubts concerning the popular belief that he is not, in fact, retarded. I hate it when I pop open BH’s yearly letter to investors (a “must read” in the investment world) and see that he’s the one who’s penning it instead of Buffet. The grammar’s all fucked up, he bobs/weaves all over the place with his incoherent “market discussions”, and it’s almost as if he’s typing with a slur. It’s like having the waiter drop his pants and shit in your mouth after you sat down expecting filet mignon. I don’t even remember the guy’s name, and I don’t even care to bother googling it right now. That’s how little I care. I’d rather type this unimportant sentence than look up anything related to that fucking guy.

Great. Now my mornings shot to shit. Man that guy sucks.

My evil twin Craig recently interviewed Chet Clem, Editorial Manager for The Onion and one of the authors of Our Dumb World: Atlas Of The Planet Earth.

Q: Does Mauritania seriously still have slaves? How did the research on this get done? Bonus: Name one thing on Earth that’s more disturbing. Just one.

A: 98% of jokes in this atlas started out as fact. We went out to make fun of the entire earth, but along the way came across horrible, disturbing things that we tried to shine a light on through humor.

One more horrifying thing: that there’s a rap song out in the U.S. right now about catching your man cheating called “lemme smell yo dick,” and there are probably more people in America aware of that song than are aware of the nation of Mauritania, much less what goes on there.

That keeps me awake at night, its a really catchy tune.

For your enjoyment, here is the aforementioned ballad (it’s really not that catchy if you ask me):

Oh and apparently it’s also true that Slavery still exists in Mauritania.

I got a call today from my dog walker. She said Pixie had wandered off, which is odd because she always stays by the walker (attention hound, loooooves people). This was distressing because for a number of reasons.

• I know she’s not good around traffic, and San Francisco is well, full of it.
• She also has a tendency to smile at people she likes in a way that looks like she’s snarling. I’m constantly afraid she’ll get maced by a startled stranger that she ironically has taken quite a shine to.
• Her tags have my old Austin vet’s number on them, and he doesn’t know where I live any more.

I was really freaking out over what might happen to her, lost in such an unforgiving environment.

Then relief- about an hour after I got the first call, I got another call from my across-the-hall neighbor asking why my dog was in the hallway of our building. Freakout aborted.

But now I’m really curious about what happened. The dog walker was shocked when I told her the news because today they went to Buena Vista park, which is pretty far from my apartment. I suppose somebody who knows my dog may have seen her and “given her a lift” but if they knew that much about her they would also know my phone number and probably would have called.

I think my dog walked all the way from Buena Vista park back to my apartment all on her own.

That’s about 10 blocks (by the Manhattan Metric). She would have had to cross Divisadero (or Castro), Fell and Oak, which are all very busy streets. The dog walker drives her to the park, so she’s only walked it once and that was back in September so she hasn’t had any practice at walking home from there.

I have no idea how she got into the building either. The front door is locked, so she must have either been let in by another tenant or perhaps the building manger but that guy would have called because he loves to gripe to me about everything. Maybe she snuck in behind someone?

Anyways, that was a nice little afternoon Roller Coaster O’ Stress and Mystery.

Update: I got home this evening and took Pixie for a walk, and on the way back into the building a guy with a dalmatian who was entering at the same time asked if she was my dog. Turns out Pixie was waiting by the front door to the building when Todd (the guy with the dalmatian) came home. He let her in and he said she ran straight upstairs and sat in front of the door to my apartment. I thanked him repeatedly (for letting pixie in, or for solving the mystery of how she got in, I don’t know).

Josh: Man, I’ve been working on this R stuff all day…
Me: Yeah?
Josh: Seriously, it’s driving me nuts.
Me: [laughing]
Josh: what’s wrong with you?
Me: [still laughing, can't stop]
Josh: oh.

The best kinds of jokes are unintentional.

I bet my site gets hijacked for this. My karma is going down the shitter lately, so I hope you find this entertaining.

I was minding my own business just now when I was contacted by a stranger via IM. He wanted help with the “friendster password hack” – which isn’t real. It’s a joke. People still don’t get it after all these years. Yet it’s still my #1 google referral. :(

In a fit of juvenile pranksterism I decided to turn the tables and get him to give up his password. Sure enough, a mere seven minutes into it he hands his username and password over to me, a complete stranger.

Bonus: he reveals the userid of the girl whose account he wants to hack.

I did nothing with this information besides log in to make sure it worked.

2:36:23 PM [name omitted]: hi i saw ur addy @ your webblog
2:36:37 PM [name omitted]: and read about friendster hack...
2:37:03 PM banksean: and you want to hack some friendster password?
2:37:17 PM [name omitted]: my ex...gf
2:37:40 PM banksean: have you tried my 133t scripts yet?
2:37:58 PM [name omitted]: i didn't know such script
2:38:23 PM [name omitted]: can you help me pls...
2:38:28 PM banksean: sure
2:38:35 PM banksean: whats ur passwrd?
2:38:42 PM [name omitted]: before i know her password
2:38:45 PM [name omitted]: in what?
2:38:50 PM [name omitted]: my password?
2:38:55 PM banksean: yes for friendster
2:39:01 PM banksean: so my bot  can search your firends list
2:39:28 PM banksean: it tries different combos of words
2:39:30 PM [name omitted]: i don't have a friendslist
2:39:35 PM banksean: from your friends profiles and comments
2:39:46 PM banksean: but it needs to log in as you
2:39:57 PM [name omitted]: oh that's hard coz i don't have friends yet there
2:40:35 PM banksean: add her friends to your list
2:40:47 PM [name omitted]: she doesnt accept
2:40:57 PM banksean: no - not her, her friends
2:40:58 PM [name omitted]: i tried many times
2:41:04 PM banksean: do you have friends in common?
2:41:16 PM [name omitted]: no not at all
2:41:26 PM [name omitted]: but i know there username
2:41:39 PM [name omitted]: their usernames
2:42:14 PM banksean: okay so lets start with your username and password tho
2:42:30 PM [name omitted]: okay just wait
2:43:22 PM [name omitted]: mailto:[omitted]
2:43:30 PM [name omitted]: pw : [omitted]
2:44:05 PM banksean: okay did you get an email from friendster?
2:44:36 PM [name omitted]: now?
2:44:44 PM [name omitted]: what email?
2:45:57 PM [name omitted]: her name is [omitted] the one who view my profile

Go watch this movie.

Description from the website:

Le Grand Content examines the omnipresent Powerpoint-culture in search for its philosophical potential. Intersections and diagrams are assembled to form a grand ‘association-chain-massacre’. which challenges itself to answer all questions of the universe and some more. Of course, it totally fails this assignment, but in its failure it still manages to produce some magical nuance and shades between the great topics death, cable tv, emotions and hamsters.